So this post is going to be a little jumbled because I'm tired, sore and a wee bit frustrated!!
Let me take you back a little bit first...
For years, and years, I have been a walker. As soon as my second child was born I went and got a double pusher and just walked walked walked! Little did I know that the whole energy in, energy out was a really important point that I did not factor in. I was probably only burning 150 Cal's, but consuming 1000's. Needless to say the way I had been doing it was not working and was more of a 'get out of the house before I scream' kinda thing as opposed to 'let's lose this baby weight' thing. No wonder I eventually gave up! As my trainer said to me on those first few sessions, 'walking is just what your body does now, it's a natural, going through the motions kind of thing'. Well no wonder I didn't lose that baby weight.
This year I have learnt SO much about dieting, exercise and having a healthy mind, but I think I have hit a bit of a wall, it's a personal, in my head kind of wall but still, it's presence is palpable.
I'm finding it really difficult to manage eating well, eating enough, training well and not training too much for my intact, listening to my body food wise, listening to my body exertion wise.......urghhhh!
I have NEVER listened to my body, I have abused it for waaay too many years and for that I am not really regretful (because dam it was yummy) but I am a little sorry. You see, now I WANT to listen to my body, now I NEED to listen to my body and really, I have no idea how to do it.
I have an amazing net work of people around me and a few of them are well informed and actually trained to listen to ones body. The thing is that they are saying what I don't want to hear! I am at the stage that I want to train as hard as I can, like every day, if not twice a day but noooo apparently bodies need rest or some shit like that, and really, right now I 'know' that (because my body is literally screaming at me) but I don't want to hear it!!
As I said above I really need to get my intake right because that alone will cripple me if I don't, but even that is so hard.....I have booked into a nutritionist so fingers crossed she will give me a better understanding of this aspect but yeah, I guess I'm just frustrated...and a little obsessed, well like really obsessed!!
My vegan venture is coming along well, except for the whole cow's milk thing. I LOVE milk, I am a milk drinker, it runs in the family, I don't know who I am without it! So I have adjusted my views on the whole no animal products and to be very honest I'm okay with that. If you look up vegetarians/vegans on the net you will find that these people have come up with MANY different variations so heh, who am I to argue? So cow's milk is here to stay and I don't feel too bad considering the skim milk I drink is probably 99%water anyway HA!
I am still officially LOVING the whole uni holiday thang I got going on, I have been reading lots, resting on my bed guilt and child free and no the house is not sorted yet....I have got months ya know ;)
So this my friends is what is going through my head at the moment, thanks for stopping by to listen to my little internal rant and thank you for your kind words and support, I'd love to think I am reaching those that are going through the same sort of inner dialogue and letting them see that they are not alone, this lifestyle thing is HARD!